Billy
Billy was a nice and friendly boy, but he had a terrible secret. He was as bald as a cueball! He had lost his hair as a result of a childhood disease, (but the exact nature of his ailment is not important to this story). Suffice it to say, Billy looked like Uncle Fester on the Addams Family and Billy’s family (not the Addams Family) were slightly embarassed by his slick, egghead-like appearance. They were too poor to afford to buy poor Billy a proper wig, so they got him an old Mickey Mouse club hat, chopped the ears off and painted it red. You see, all the other members of Billy’s family had red hair so they wanted him to fit in. Lucky for Billy and his family, they lived in a town full of dumb people and these dummies never noticed that Billy had no real hair but instead had a Mickey Mouse hat perched proudly on the top of his bean.
Well, don’t you know it, but one day Billy lost his Mickey Mouse hat. But his Mom said, “Don’t you worry, Billy. I will cover your head in this spaghetti that I was making for your dad’s breakfast (Billy’s Dad ate pasta for breakfast although it was unconventional to do so, simply because, as he said, “there’s no law against it”). She also put some red spaghetti sauce on it so that the people in the town wouldn’t notice.
Well, the first couple of people Billy saw didn’t notice any difference, but then Mr. Mackey, the loud-mouthed “new guy in town,” spotted him and yelled out, “Hey Billy, take that ridiculous spaghetti hat off your head, O.K?” Billy, being a polite and respectful boy, did so and the whole crowd saw his bald head. Everyone started laughing at Billy, but the joke was even worse since Billy’s brother Bobby had secretly put some indelible red dye in the spaghetti sauce, so now, not only was Billy bald, he also had a permanently dyed head.
All Billy could do now was to whimper good-naturedly, “Boy, is my face red now!”
